The Dance

Swing Dancing.

Elegant Frank-Sinatra-era music floods the room as couples twist and turn among one another.

He pushes her forward and pulls her back. He lets her go and she twirls around, her skirt fluttering as her cheeks flush. He scoops her back up and steps off again. 

Have you ever watched a talented couple swing-dance? They are like one entity, flawlessly floating across the dance floor in perfect harmony. Eyes lock and bodies flow and one cannot deny true beauty in the moment. 

As I admire those couples who have spent countless hours practicing, I reflect on my own situation. As of a week ago I had never swing-danced in my life. I dressed up for a ball at my college and showed up entirely unsuspecting.  I had no idea what I was doing, but I was eager to give the dance a try. I quickly realized the key to dancing - let the man lead. 

In our day and age, those words are highly controversial."Let the man lead? Seriously? Have you not seen how independent women are! How dare you assume they need to be led!" you hear the voices of our culture scream. 

Try swing dancing with an independent woman.

I have to admit, not being in control is terrifying. Is he going to spin me? Turn me? Pretzel!? I thought that was food! What do you mean I'm entirely at his mercy?

However, as soon as a talented man pulled me out on the floor, I realized the beauty in his control. I do not have to contemplate my next move or worry where I am headed - he pulls me out of danger and surprises me with a whirl that catches my heart. I cannot help but giggle. 

Dare I say that today's young women should take the same approach to their relationships with men? 

Yes, I dare.

No man is a perfect lead. Sometimes their hints are not dramatic enough and so we end up twirling when they wanted to shift across the floor. Sometimes they trip on their feet or run out of ways to spice up the dance.

However, the more dances you spend together, the easier it becomes to read his movements. Suddenly the once jerky and awkward steps become fluid and graceful. Instead of two competing partners, you become one. 

That is how relationships should work.

Yes, men can be awkward. We as ladies do not always pick up on their hints. Sometimes they are too gentle with their lead and we are stuck wondering where to go - but there is excitement in the mystery. We wonder what will happen next and are kept on our toes.

He takes a step forward and we step back. We feel him move our bodies to the right and we follow. He lifts his hand and we twirl beneath him, meeting him face to face when our feet hit the ground again. He steps on our toes and we simply giggle. He loses the beat and stops us. We eagerly wait for him to find his place and let him start again while sweetly gazing in his eyes and reassuring him its okay to be imperfect.

The more we dance, the more confident he becomes. His lead is stronger and thus our job of following becomes increasingly easier. The number of mistakes dwindles, but the surprise never ceases. Even with all our anticipation, we cannot guess the outcome. The finished result is simply more beautiful. 

My challenge to you today, ladies, is to let him lead. Remember he is nervous too. Simply smile and reassure him. Tell him when you like what he's doing. Respond to his movements. Forgive his blunders. Watch the dance unfold.