Modest Behavior

What IS Modesty? 

I think most women know that modest is more than just what you are wearing, it is how you act. Even being covered from head to toe does not ensure you act like a lady! 

Acting Like A Lady 

Do you behave modestly? I'm not talking about being humble, I'm talking about keeping the coquette side of you inside - or at least subdued. There comes a time in every woman's life when she realizes that her charm is her great asset. Maybe she struggled with body size or shape, maybe the awkward years of braces and glasses scarred her - but suddenly one day she recognizes that a sweet smile, the biting of her lip and that oh so soft tone of voice can magically give her the upper hand in the battle of the sexes. 

That's where Scripture comes in. "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:30) Ouch! I don't know about you but there have been plenty of times where that verse has stopped me in my tracks. "Flirtatiousness" is not one of the fruits of the spirit!

But what is flirting? What does deceptive charm look like? I would have to say it all goes back to intentions. In your heart of hearts, why are you titling your head, twisting your hair or mildly pouting? Is it to control and dominate the men in your path? To make you feel better about yourself? Is it selfish? If so, you are probably guilty of immodest behavior. 

I'll admit that some of the times I am the most guilty of flirting is when I am most modestly dressed. Why? There is always that sense when I am all covered up that I have lost the beauty war and that I am being overlooked by every man in the room. My solution? Act the way I wish I was dressed. Bad idea? Of course! It is just as bad, if not worse, for me to toy around with the guys around me as it is for me to clothe myself as eye-candy. Have you ever done the same thing? Just because outwardly I'm dressed like a lady, does not mean my mind is thinking like a lady, nor does it mean that my actions are lady-like.

Making it Practical 

So if you know that you are guilty of playing the coquette, here are some practical ways to watch that your actions match your clothing:

1. Position - Sit, stand and walk like a lady. Cross your legs, mind your skirt. Guys may not realize you are doing it on purpose, but every girl in the room knows you purposely left your skirt hiked up on your thigh. Stand with good posture, but never purposely stick out your chest or your booty. Women can strut, especially when in high heels, but don't do it - swaying your hips just doesn't equal modest behavior.

2. Facial Expression - This is my biggest trip - up. Puppy eyes, pouty lips, seductive innocence - you know what I'm talking about girls! It may momentarily get you your way, but its not a lady-like way to earn attention. Treat the guys around you with enough respect that you resist the urge to manipulate with your eyes. Be fun, be friendly, but don't fake the innocence - men know the difference between child-like heart and manipulative grace. 

3. Movement - A piggy-back to position, watch the way you move. Brushing your body past his "on accident", titling your head, stroking your legs - and of course the classic, "I'll bend over from the hips so he gets a good look at my butt" - are absolutely not on the modest behavior list. Its tempting, I know! But do not give in. You may get momentary attention, but its not worth it. 

In the end, don't let the thrill of captivating men's attention cause you to compromise your standards - no matter what the situation! I'll never forget a few weeks back when I left the house feeling absolutely stunning in a dress that I considered modestly elegant. I arrived at my destination to find another girl there looking not just stunning, but sensual in a form-fitting ensemble. As pathetic as it was, it brought me to tears as I stared in the mirror wishing I had chosen something more "playful." Looking back, however, I know the dress was the right choice for the occasion, even if I was not the one with all the attention. Thankfully, God gave me the strength not to be coy despite how overshadowed I felt. Modesty will not always get you the praise of the world, but your Father will look down and smile. 

Modesty Quote #2

"Modesty in dress and manner will assist in protecting against temptation. It may be difficult to find modest clothing, but it can be found with enough effort. I sometimes wish every girl had access to a sewing machine and training in how to use it. She could then make her own attractive clothing. I suppose this is an unrealistic wish. But I do not hesitate to say that you can be attractive without being immodest. You can be refreshing and buoyant and beautiful in your dress and in your behavior. Your appeal to others will come of your personality, which is the sum of your individual characteristics. Be happy. Wear a smile. Have fun. But draw some rigid parameters, a line in the sand, as it were, beyond which you will not go." -President Gordon B. Hinckley, 2004 from a talk entitled, "Stay on the High Road"

Classy for Church

Church-Wear Trends


Do regularly attend church?


These days many churches are laid back regarding style. Jeans and a t-shirt have become perfectly acceptable church-wear. With that, mini-skirts and tank tops are common summer staples - even under the steeple!


Challenge


1. Do not let the status quo dictate your wardrobe. Being a woman is a beautiful thing! We were designed to be stunning, and rolling out of bed and slipping on jeans for church just does not do our design justice!


Instead, pull out that skirt you love to wear to the office.


Try dark-wash tailored jeans with a pair of heals. It is amazing how quickly heels can take you from casual to classy.


Curl your hair if its usually straight, or straighten it if you usually curl it. There is elegance in changing things up from time to time!


2. Leave the mini-skirts and tank tops in your closet (or the trash!). If you are going to pull off something edgy, leave it outside the church building. Ask yourself, "Do I look like a lady?" We should respect God's house, first of all, and second, respect our bodies. Church is not about stunning the crowd, but looking into the stunning face of your Savior.

Class of 2012!

Graduation Time!

Are you graduating this year?! Go class of 2012! Whether from high school or college, here are some stylish options from local department stores. Unfortunately, they would not let me save the pictures to insert into the blog, but you are one click away from a great dress!

Note: The “Fancy Frills” dresses are more expensive, scroll down to “Casual Crisp” for finds under $30.

Fancy Frills

If you are a girly girl here are some great modest options for graduation day:

Paired with a cute black shrug, this floor-length dress is a gorgeous option. ($77.00)

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/dresses/PRD~1004502/Speechless+Ombre+Long+Tube+Dress.jsp

This next dress hits right above the knee and the “One-shoulder” makes a shrug a bit more difficult to use. However, if you don’t mind covering up the strap, it is an adorable find.

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/dresses/PRD~1027174/My+Michelle+Ruffled+Asymmetrical+Dress.jsp ($53.99)

Casually Crisp

Some girls prefer a more laid back look for a fire on the beach. These sundresses can be worn all summer long and are much more affordable.

Here is another Kohl’s pick. ($29.99)

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/dresses/PRD~1035530/Mudd+Animal+Maxi+Tube+Dress.jsp

This option comes is a variety of patterns (I own the rose/black pattern) and hits right at your knee. With a cami underneath and a shrug, it covers everything. It is also extremely comfortable. I have honestly never found a dress with such soft fabric! ($23.99)

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/dresses/PRD~951717/Derek+Heart+Crochet+Floral+Dress.jsp

For only $25 this maxi dress is a fun, simple choice. A cami can disguise the lower-neckline and you could go with or without a shrug due to the thicker straps. They suggest dramatic jewelry for an evening out! Great idea!

http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1e8c112&DeptID=71275&CatID=81020&SO=0&SelDim=4294957900%7e&CatSel=4294934949%7ccasual+dresses&NOffset=0&Ne=4294957900+29+3+1031+8+18+1545&x5view=1&N=4294934949&Nao=0&PSO=0&bcCat=3&CmCatId=70646|81020&sa=1

Old Navy has amazing dresses this season. It is worth spending an hour on their website checking out all their options. They even have lightweight sweaters in an array of colors, so if you want your shoulders covered you are in luck!

This was my personal pick for graduation this year. It hits below the knee and coupled with their white sweater it is a fun dress that can be re-worn a million times! At $22.00, it’s a steal!

http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=50186&vid=1&pid=898274&scid=898274002

Mystery in Modesty

Rise in Modesty

Looking at tabloids and magazines, you may not think that modesty is making a comeback. In fact, despite your inhibitions, you may think immodesty is the only option - no matter your age. Mini-skirts for moms, "jeggings" in the teen section, and plunging necklines for little girls. Are you frustrated with the trends?

Whether you are a woman who is tired of feeling forced to show off your trouble spots, a teenager who whishes she did not feel like she is expected to show off everything she has, or a mother who cannot believe the clothing sold for her eight year old daughter, this blog is meant to highlight modest options for every age group. It does not matter what your reason for being modest is - for some women, it is their religion. Some women simply feel uncomfortable in the "latest fashions." Desiring to be modest is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what Hollywood and billboards have to say about it.

There are Options

Spending the time searching for modest options can be painful. Lets be real, no one likes sifting through pages and pages of clothing only to find two or three reasonable options. That is why I am here to do the work for you! You can find modest options from just about any store and my goal is to do the sleuthing and let you see for yourself what you can go out their and buy.

Criteria for MysteryinModesty Picks

I will searching for clothing that meet the following criteria.

1. Affordable. For the average woman, we need an average price!

2. Stylish. Women are designed to be beautiful. There is no need to hide under repulsive or frumpy clothing. There are plenty mainstream options for trendy modesty.

3. Modest! Standards for appropriette dress vary from family to family, woman to woman. I am not here to tell you how you should dress, just to show you some of the best of what is out there. In general I will look for knee-length skirts, tops that can be layered to cover your shoulders, and pants that do not shrink-wrap your booty.

Stay Tuned!

Come back often to check out my newest picks and for great MysteryinModest tips!